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2004-08-09 - 9:36 p.m.

I guess that a literal translation of this title would be a fear of one thing. Or maybe my Latin is really rusty. Yes, that was sarcasm.

But what I'm talking about is the fear of homosexuality. There are plenty of people in this world that seem to have a crippling fear of something that really isn't affecting them.

I'm pissed off about everyone focusing so much energy and concern on whether it should be okay for two homosexual persons to get married to one another. I don't understand the debate. Plus, as a nation, I think that we really have more pressing concerns. When will our soldiers get to come home from Iraq? Will we ever be safe from Al-Qaeda? When will J-Lo get divorced? You get the picture.

Let's pretend for a moment that I'm on the fence about this issue. That I haven't really decided whether or not that I think that it's okay for two people of the same sex to legally get married.

Now, if you thought that it was absolutely, positively wrong for these two people to get married, how would you convince me of your position. How would you sway me to your way of thinking? Keep in mind that all of the following arguments are ones that I've actually heard people say.

It Would Start A Trend

If you want to argue that allowing homosexuals to get married would just start a mass of homosexual couples to move in together, I would argue that you're missing the point. These folks already are couples. They've been living together for years, they're committed to one another, and they want to make that commitment legally binding so that they can have all of the legal benefits afforded to straight married couples.


If you want to argue that homosexuality and homosexual marriages are not moral, I would ask if you mean in comparison to all of the straight people involved in straight marriages? The marriages that are home to spousal abuse, deceit, sexual abuse, infidelity, divorce and murder? Are those the moral marriages that you're talking about?

Destroying The Very Fabric Of America

I don't think that homosexual marriages will destroy the American Way of Life. Contrary to my Mother-in-law's memory, gay people really were around back in the 1930s, and certainly way before then. And the Very Fabric Of America seems no worse for wear. They've always been around, they've just gotten better PR guys recently. They got "Will and Grace" on the air, right? A show which, by the way, I truly hate. Not because of the gay characters. I hate it because these "friends" can be so detestably hateful to one another for 26 minutes, say "sorry", and all is forgiven. If I had "friends" that acted that feckin' hateful to me, guess what? THEY WOULD NOT BE MY FRIENDS. But I digress.

The Economy

I don't think that you can argue that homosexual marriages would destroy the economy. At least I haven't heard a good argument for that. I suppose that after they were married, one of the two would stay at home to take care of the kids/pets/houseplants and that would be one less taxable job? Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Granted, I won't argue that homosexual marriages would bolster the economy. Although, some states sure are making a lot of money from selling marriage licenses to gay couples recently. Hmmmm.

Okay, so I'm still not seeing a good argument for me to be against it. I won't buy the "because it's wrong" argument. That sounds a bit too much like the "because I'm the Daddy, and I say so" argument. And that one hasn't worked on me since I was nine. And I'm agnostic, so being against it for religious reasons doesn't enter into how I feel about it.

Long and short, gay men and women are just people. I don't accept a blind reason to hate people. I find that, for me at least, all of the people in the world fall into one of two categories: good people and bad people. Now, I am certain that there are plenty of homosexuals in this world that just aren't very good people. Not because they are gay, but because they don't treat people with respect, or they abuse animals, or they steal from people. Things like that. But trust me, I've met very few gay people with these types of qualifications, and a lot of straight people that do have these qualifications. Being a good person or a bad person doesn't have a thing to do with your skin color, hair color, last name, ethnicity, education, or sexual preference.

So I think it comes back to fear. I think that people are concerned about gay marriages largely because of homophobia. I think that some people don't want gay people to marry, because they don't understand it. They don't understand it, and they fear it. As for me, I don't understand how the Moon affects the tides, but I'm not afraid of it. The people that fear homosexuals, especially men, seem to be the type that would get violent if a gay man ever hit on them. I find that akin to beating up the Jehovah's Witness on your doorstep because you're a Baptist. That kind of behavior is not nice, but that's exactly what I've heard come out of some men's mouths: "Man, if a gay guy ever hit on me, I would beat his ass!" No need for that. Take a pointer from Nancy Reagan, and just say "No". Actually, "No thank you" would be more polite.

But you don't have to fear homosexuals. They are still just people that work, pay their bills, do yardwork, and listen to Britney Spears. Well, okay, you can hold that last one against them if you want. Just don't be afraid to the point of hating them because they are different. And don't ask them to explain "why" they are gay. I'm certain that they can't explain it any more than I could explain why I'm attracted to women. Hell, I'm so attracted to women that I can sort of understand a woman being a lesbian. If I was a woman, I'd probably be a lesbian. Because I'm really attracted to women. It's not really a choice for me. And I'm certain that homosexuals don't really choose to be homosexual. They just are. If it was simply a choice, do you really think that so many people would voluntarily be part of a group that is publicly maligned, viewed in disgust by so many, and denied the legal benefits allowed to others? If you think so, you need to rub a few more brain cells together and meditate about it.

So, I think that I'm standing on the side of the fence that thinks that it's okay for homosexual couples to be married. Because it's also the side of the fence that treats homosexuals exactly like they should be treated. Like human beings. I like the company on this side of the fence.

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